Seat of Doom
by KillforKlondike
Summary: Ratchet's chair. A mythical object said to destroy anyone that tries to sit in it. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker want to know more. But they're going to need someone to test their theorys...


Alright, so I'm not really sure if this is any good, but even if it isn't I decided to put this up so that I can get some help to critique it.

PS: Might be a while before I do another transformers one. I've been doing a bunch lately.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own crap.

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"So…I go in there, sit in the chair…and then leave?" Mudflap looked at the two and back through the door to *gasp* THE MED BAY. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were trying to test a certain theory about Ratchet's chair. And for that they would need a guinea pig. Sam had refused. Bumblebee had run for his spark when he saw them coming. And the girls were altogether missing so they weren't an option either. So one of the minitwins would have to do.

"What's in it for me?" Sunstreaker held up a can of high grade oil. "Want the oil? Then go sit in that chair." Mudflap glanced between the can and the chair…and took off towards the chair. Suddenly Mudflap stopped to listen. What was that clickin' sound? Along the walls small holes in opened up and stun guns popped out. Although this somewhat confirmed their theory, it didn't quite cover it all. Not that either of the Lamborghinis were thinking of said theory at the moment. They were actually laughing as Mudflap twitched on the med bay floor. Optimus, who'd been in the process of walking by, stopped for a moment to observe. After which he decided it was better to walk away instead of getting involved in the madness. (Me: Madness?...THIS IS SPARTA!)

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Test two. "Alright Skids, you know what to do?" "Fo sho. And I still get that oil, right?" "Sure." Skids ran towards that chair and when the guns came out he rolled out of the way and continued running. A few feet later Skids stepped on a trick panel in the floor. From the ceiling steel beams began to rain down in the little robot, burying him under the weight. "Sideswipe?" "Yeah?" "I think it's time we use our secret weapon." "Okay…think we should try and get him out of there?" "Are you kidding? The stun guns might mess up my paintjob."

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**Later:**

Both Mudflap and Skids are offline and only one hope remains.

"You can't make me do this! Now put me down!" Sam squirmed in Sideswipe's grip. Too bad that had no effect on the mech what so ever. "Look, just walk in there and sit in the chair. Easy, okay?" "No! No way in hell am I trying to sit in Ratchet's chair. For all I know it'll blow up as soon as I touch it!" Sam yelled, hoping that Bumblebee was somewhere within hearing range. No luck there. Bumblebee had retreated back to the Witwicky garage. "Alright, tell you what. If you do this we'll keep your porn stash a secret from Michaela." Sam stopped squirming. "I don't know what you're talking about." The twins grinned at each other. "Oh, just the box in the old hanger labeled 'Sam's Happy Time'. Great title by the way.

"I'm going to die. My obituary is going to say that I died sitting in a psycho alien's chair to keep my porn safe from my girlfriend." Sam mumbled to himself as he cautiously made his way towards the seat of doom. So far neither the stun guns nor the beams had been activated. Not that Sideswipe or Sunstreaker had mentioned those. Better to keep the little details to yourself. Sam was almost to the chair when he heard footsteps. Oh God…

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"What are you two idiots doing at my med bay?" Ratchet asked as he approached the brothers. "Oh nothing. We just missed you _sparkling_ personality." Sideswipe offered. "Get out of here before I weld your afts together." They did as he suggested, laughing to themselves as they sped away. Looking around, Ratchet saw burn marks on the floor and the beams sitting in a pile off to the side of the room. Those morons. What were they trying to do now? Nothing seemed to be missing or moved. Shrugging to himself, he went to sit at his desk and as he was about to sit down he heard a…a shriek? Since when did little girls come into the med bay?

Looking down Ratchet saw the 'little girl'. Sitting in his chair was Sam, who was currently 'protecting' himself by holding his arms over his head and his eyes closed. Ratchet thought he heard the boy saying the rosary to himself. "Sam, what are you doing in here?" "I'm trying not to get sat on! And I'm in here 'because the Lamborghinis from Hell are blackmailing me." Ratchet rose what passed for an eyebrow. "With what?" "I'd rather not talk about it." "They found your porn stash, didn't they?"

"**DOES EVERYBODY KNOW ABOUT THIS?"**

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OFF IN SOME DISTANT CORNER OF THE BASE:

"So, what should we do now?"

"Don't know. When was the last time we hid Ironhide's stuff?"

"Too long. But this time **I** get to hide Big Baby. Last time you put it in Jetfire's room and he nearly blew my head off with it."

"I didn't think he'd find it! Seriously, who just looks behind their berth anymore?"

"A paranoid old bot that thinks everybody is out to get him?"

"Touché."


End file.
